Shame on me
by Ebil Chameleon
Summary: Kotetsu/Izumo "What am I to you?"


Shame on me

**Shame on me. Working on something other than my other stories. But this popped in my head during English class one day and was waiting for me to write it all down.**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings or anything about Naruto belong to me. I'm just borrowing without permission.**

**This is dedicated to all the wonderful Kotetsu/Izumo fans out there. We all must stand together strong for this pairing is highly under appreciated.**

**--**

Any other time of the day, he would have been perfectly fine with seeing the sheepish look on his friend's face. But at ten at night, it really wasn't his favorite thing at the moment, and just by looking at the man, he could tell that something was wrong. And by the looks of it, his friend was uninjured, nothing had been set ablaze, and he obviously hadn't ended up in jail. So what could the problem be that Kotetsu had to mercilessly bang on his front door at this time at night?

"Ah…yeah," was all that was said from the wild haired man. Izumo raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation. It was slightly cold out tonight and he rubbed his hands along his arms, cursing that he had been too tired to throw a shirt on.

"This better be good," was all he said, running a hand through sleep ruffled locks. He yawned soundly. He was damn tired from working all day, hearing to Tsunade's every wish and listening to Genma's rambling.

"It is, trust me," Kotetsu promised grinning like a child who was in trouble. In his hand, Izumo noticed, was the man's traveling bag.

"You going on a mission?" Normally the two would inform each other of missions that they had accepted, but never at this hour. If they were to leave at night unexpectedly, then they would leave a note somewhere the other would find it.

"No, actually,"

"If you came here for sex, then forget it," Izumo growled menacingly.

Shaking his hands in front of him, Kotetsu shook his head. "No, no! Actually…I kind of got kicked out of my apartment."

Izumo didn't know whether to sigh loudly, shut the door, or laugh. Giving that he was profusely tired at the moment, he checked laughing off as a no. Shutting the door in his best friend's face in his time of need was far to cruel for him, so he sided with the last choice he had, sighing loudly and moving out of the way, signaling for the other man to enter his own home.

He heard a soft, "yesss" being hissed under the other man's breath as he walked by. Izumo couldn't help but smile at this. He turned and shut the door behind him. "So," he said. Despite being tired, even he could hear the smugness in his own voice. He looked at his friend who sat on the couch, now looking up at him. "You never paid the rent did you? After I repeatedly reminded you. And you spent your paycheck on something else didn't you? Something completely useless."

Looking completely relaxed, mainly due to the fact that his friend never failed to look after him when he needed it, Kotetsu said childishly, "That weapon's set was calling out to me for weeks! The one I showed you! Even you said it was nice. Can you blame me?"

Any other person, yes, Izumo could blame them. His best friend though, no. The man jumped at any given opportunity for just about anything. How he has made it as a shinobi? Well, who knows?

"You're so irresponsible," Izumo sighed. "Well, I'm really tired and would love to get back to sleep. You know where everything is. Grab a blanket and have a nice night with your new best friend," the brunette said, motioning to the squishy couch the other was sitting on.

"Night," Kotetsu said, relaxing a bit more, no intention on getting up right away.

Izumo returned to his bedroom, pulling the covers of his bed back and climbing in. the one thing he was grateful for investing his money in was his nice, large bed. It's the one thing he had always wanted, something for him to stretch his limbs out at night with no worries of falling out.

Tonight though, at least for the rest of the night, Izumo knew to sleep over onto the side. It wasn't the first time Kotetsu has spent the night. They had frequently stayed over at each other's homes before. And every time, the couch had been open for Kotetsu. And every time, Izumo would wake up with someone right next to him in bed.

Sighing softly, the man blinked at the moonlight that filtered into his room before closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep.

Sure enough, the next morning, he was woken up to the feeling of shaggy hair pressed against his neck, a weight on his shoulder, soft breathing very close to him, and a loose arm around his middle.

_Ohayou Kuma-chan. _

_**--**_

Izumo wasn't sure just what he was to Kotetsu.

For a fact, he knew that he cared for Kotetsu, in a way that went beyond friendship. They'd been friends for so long, inseparable really. Even today they were always together, hanging out and such. His mind confused him. Every time he merely glanced at the other man he could feel his heart jump. He wanted to say he loved him, which in all honesty he did. But he felt like he was so close to determining just how much love there was, whether it was mild, or if it went far enough as for him to be able to say he was _in_ love with him.

And still, he couldn't describe what they're relationship was. They would have sex, mostly after arduous and tiring missions where they were too tense and stressed out, needed release in some way. It was either then, or when they both wanted it. But to Izumo, that seemed to be all there was. Note necessarily more than friends. He found it hard to bring himself to say it, that they were extremely good friends…with benefits? He would like to think they were more than that.

He knew, as much as if stung, that Kotetsu had flings with other, be it men or women. Himself? No more than once or twice, only when he was desperate. He really couldn't bare the thought of being with someone else besides Kotetsu. And it hurt even more knowing that maybe, just maybe there wouldn't be a chance for a stable relationship to form between them. And the thought of their friendship being screwed up in the process scared him to death.

So that's why he never really told his friend just how he felt. He was a coward, holding back only to preserve the good relationship he was afraid of losing.

He didn't like that he seemed to be used by the man he wanted to be loved by. It was unbearable to even think such a thing. That's why, whenever they are together for their night of tension relieving, he always imaged that they were doing it out of love, and not for the sake of using each other.

_**--**_

On the third day of Kotetsu's stay, Izumo had given up. That night he had given up to his friend. "You're sleeping in my bed."

"Huh?" Kotetsu said from the kitchen, a sweet snack hanging from his mouth. Izumo snatched the treat from between the man's lips, scowling for his bad manners.

"You are staying in my bed tonight," he said slowly, as if talking to a child. Stealing his snack back, Kotetsu questioned, "Why? You want something from don't you?" he suggested and raised an eyebrow, mouth smirking seductively.

Rolling his chocolate eyes, Izumo replied, "No. If you haven't noticed you end up in bed with me every night already. So what's the point if I know it's going to happen anyways?"

"True. You know, I just get lonely. I like having someone next to me when I sleep."

That hurt. Izumo knew why it hurt to. It was suggesting something wasn't it? A hidden message? Was it possible that Kotetsu had people in bed with him _that _much? Enough that one night on the couch made him feel lonely?

Feeling shot down, Izumo walked away, headed to the bathroom and shut the door behind him, locking it. He sat on the closed toilet lid and held his head in his hands.

Why was he so upset? And possessive as well? It wasn't like Kotetsu belong to him. No, he only wished he did. Damn, this wasn't right. He was his friend. And even if he had no intention of starting that kind of relationship with Izumo, then he would just have to except it and go on being the best friend he could be.

Damnit, that didn't make him feel any better. If anything, he only cursed himself for being such a coward. Why couldn't he just tell him how he felt? It wasn't that hard right?

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he stood up and opened the bathroom door. It was already late and he needed sleep. He had a short mission tomorrow and plenty of things to do for Tsunade.

He entered his room to find his friend already in bed, the blankets pulled over him. He looked to be sleeping, but when Izumo climbed up the bed from the bottom he noticed movement from the other, dark eyes opening to look up at him.

"You okay?" he asked, followed by a wide yawn. Izumo nodded. "I'm fine," he answered, lying to make everything seem fine.

Not believing him, Kotetsu pulled him down and narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked. Just by hearing the tone of voice his friend used, he knew there was something wrong and he was determined to get it out of him.

Izumo noted that their faces were close, too close. He could feel every breath Kotetsu breathed on his face. He wanted to lean in further, to press his lips to the others but he shamefully reframed from doing so. His heart thumped wildly in his chest, threatening to burst out.

Any form of words was stuck in his throat, unwilling to leave his mouth. Instead he turned his head and shifted so he could put his back to the other man. He wasn't let off easy though and Kotetsu grabbed his shoulder, forcing him down and suddenly there was a weight above him as he was pinned down from above. Kotetsu straddled the man's hips, holding the other's wrists in his hands.

Once again their faces were close, nose to nose even. Lips so close to his own, he could practically feel them.

And then he did feel them.

Kotetsu pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. It was so unlike the ones Izumo was used to from him. He was usually so aggressive, passionate, and hungry. This was a different turn and he was too shocked to respond. He felt empty as the lips left his, wanting them back so bad. "Please tell me."

Izumo tried to figure what he wanted to say. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him, to finally get his feelings out there. "Why are you so concerned?"

Stupid, stupid stupid!

Kotetsu looked as though he had been slapped in the face. "What do you mean? You're my best friend, why shouldn't I care?"

Angrily, Izumo fought back. "And what kind of 'best friends' kiss each other? What kind of best friends do each other for the hell of it? Tell me!"

The grip on his wrists were gone and the weight and warm from above him moved. Kotetsu had moved to his side and his eyes were roaming over Izumo, searching him. "If you don't want me to kiss you, then tell me. And if you never wanted to be with me like that then…you should have stopped me."

The urge to just break down was strong, but Izumo fought it. In a way, he wanted to hold his friend and to be taken by him right now. And the other part told him to turn around and just sleep, forget everything that had happened.

"It's not that…" Come one now, it was now or never. "'Tetsu, what am I to you?"

Confused, he answered, "My best friend?"

Unsatisfied, Izumo urged, "Is that all?"

Starting to understand where this was going, Kotetsu retaliated, "Is there something I need to know Izu?"

Yes, there is something you should know. "What?" he sounded hysterical. "The fact that I want you as more than a friend? The fact that I never said anything because I thought it would mess up our friendship? Or the fact that I think I'm in love with you?"

There was a silence after that and Izumo was certain that the man would no longer want anything to do with him. Besides, he was probably in it for the good feel, not for any emotional attachment. How could he have let this happen?

He noticed, through narrowed eyes, that Kotetsu was leaning down towards him against and before he knew it, his lips were covered once more by a pair of soft, familiar ones. This time he submitted to the kiss, letting himself be swept away by it. He allowed the intruding tongue in, brushing his own against it. He moan throatily and they were forced to break apart for air. Those lips now trailed down his jaw line and to his neck, gently nipping and sucking the flesh there. He held back another moan, squirmed slightly, and tried to speak.

"What…ah….are you doing?"

"Loving you."

"Huh?"

"Izu, I think of you as more than a friend. If you're worried about the others I've been with, don't." He trailed his tongue along his loves neck, leading up to his ear where he nipped at it. "I needed a way to fill the void that you left in me."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Hands now roamed under the loose shirt of his lover. "Why didn't you?"

Looking up at Kotetsu, Izumo grinned sheepishly, "Shame on me."

_**--**_

**Meh, for the love of Kotetsu/Izumo, I hope you enjoyed. And the phrase 'ohayou kuma-chan' basically means goodmorning teddybear. kuma means bear and adding the 'chan' gives it a cute affect.**


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